Why I Hate Hewlett Packard

| May 20, 2009 | 0 Comments

Allow me to set the stage for you.  I’m in last minute negotiations with a bank.  I’m trying to buy a piece of property.  It’s a new home in Scottsdale… but not just any home.  It’s a large piece of property with room for dogs and my girlfriend’s horses.  It’s in an exclusive area, quiet, away from the world.

It’s a dream property.

The realtor was emailing me documents.  I frantically filled in the missing pieces.  Page after page.  Don’t forget the addendums.  Sign here… initial here… and here… and here.  If you’ve ever bought a house, you know the agony I was experiencing.


I spun to my computer and slapped the paperwork on the HP scanner.

Error message…

Shut the software program down.  Restart the software.  Scan in the first page.  Then the second and third.  I’m flying now… the realtor needs the document.

“I’ll have it to you in five minutes.”  Page 4 starts… then the scanning software freezes.

You can guess what’s running through my mind right now.  It’s not fit to print.

Shut down.  Hard restart on the computer.  Start back up.  Back to the scanning software.  Scan page 1, page 2… another error!  The software keeps freezing up.  The rest of my computer is fine.  But I can’t scan anything.

Are you kidding me!?!?

Restart.  Same process.  Start the computer… again.  Another call from my realtor.

Scan in the first page.  Front and back.  Close the software… start back up.  Scan the next page, close the software, start back up.  That’s how I scanned the entire document in all 28 pages.  Something that should have taken 10 or 15 minutes took nearly an hour.

And it almost cost me my dream home.

I’ve now spent the better part of two weeks updating drivers, reinstalling software, searching the help database to get this scanner working. Nothing helps.

My HP scanner isn’t the only part of the system I hate.  Have you seen how expensive print cartridges are?  I need another mortgage just to print a document.  What a rip-off.

I feel like I’ve been fleeced by a slimy used car salesman…

Here’s the deal, it’s not just the scanner I’m having problems with.  It seems every HP product I buy has a major flaw or defect.

A while back I bought a very expensive new HP ink cartridge – defective. It took two hours just to get someone at the company to help.  He confirmed what I already knew.  Then he sent me a list of hoops I had to jump through just to get it replaced.  (Why do I need to do all the work… your product was defective.)

It was easier, quicker, and cheaper for me to buy another cartridge.

After installing the new HP printer, my word processing software started throwing up error messages.  I’ve spent hours trying to solve this problem.  HP’s solution was to uninstall the printer.

Genius!  But, how am I supposed to print?!

But wait, this last one’s the best.

A little over a year ago I bought a laptop from HP.  (Note the timeframe, it’s important.)  Not some cheap bottom of the line system either.  I bought a high-end powerful machine.  And I spent big money on it.  A few months later I got an error message about the battery.

HP Error software said they were sending a message to HP about the problem.

Every time I ran a diagnostic I came up with a battery error.  Any info about the error message?  Nope, nothing on the site.  I wasted a good two weeks looking for a solution to my problem on the HP website.

Then the battery started getting hot.  You could now measure the lifespan of the battery with an egg timer.

Back to the HP website… maybe a recall I missed… nope.  Finally, I broke down and sent their customer service group a message.

Their response went something like this:  Dear sir, you are correct, your battery is defective.  But your warranty expired 3 days ago!  If you’d like to spend several hundred dollars buying a replacement battery, feel free to visit our online store.  The word ANGRY doesn’t cover it.

Let me be the first to say, HP products are crap.

And their software was clearly developed by a group of 3rd grade kids. Their customer service is horrible.  All in all, I’ve determined its best not to deal with the company at all.

I’m not the only one.  My office is filled with people having the same kinds of problems.

When I need to replace an HP product, I’m quick to look at every brand OTHER than HP.  Run like the wind if someone tries to sell you an HP product.

Maybe that’s why the HP business is struggling.

Just yesterday they announced results and it wasn’t pretty.  Sales were down across the board (what do you expect selling garbage products). And earnings plummeted 17%.  Of course they’re laying off 6,000 employees (probably the only ones who know how to make a product that works).  Of course the stock’s down almost 5%.

Now, normally, I’d tell you to short the stock.

However, some Wall Street research idiot (I mean analyst) will come out and declare HP the buy of the century.  The stock will jump and we’ll all lose money.  Nope, what I suggest you do is the next best thing.  Avoid HP products (and their stock) forever… I guarantee your life will improve dramatically.

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Category: Stocks

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The Dynamic Wealth Report works with a number of staff writers and guest experts who specialize in everything from penny stocks to ETFs to options trading. These guest analysts post under the 'staff writer' moniker for ease of use.

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